General Frost vs. Europe

When making a 'Top Ten Places Not to Invade In The Winter' list, Russia inevitably comes in number one (with Greenland and Canada following close after.). There were multiple occasions in history, when European leaders thought it might be a good idea to poke the Russian Bear with a stick. Some, like the Mongols, were successful, most, like pretty much everyone else, were not.

St. Basil's Cathedral, Moscow.

Russia's pretty big, which makes it difficult to defend and control. Russia's long history of internal conflicts (more recently in Georgia and Chechnya) prove this. However, Russia has a secret weapon-General Frost.

You've probably guessed this, but General Frost is a poetic name for winter. Russia is far north, and has some pretty gnarly cold spells. We're talking spit freezing before it hits the sidewalk cold. The winter snows cover everything, and the country more or less goes into hibernation. Nothing grows, and game isn't always plentiful. If you haven't prepared, you're dead. 

So, despite its size, Russia is pretty well defended. They have reasonable armies (and more recently nuclear weapons) to help the in the summer, and unlivable conditions in the winter. However, that hasn't stopped some people from trying to invade Russia in the winter.

Charles XII

The Swedes were the first (as far as I can dig up) to try invading Russia in the winter. They were the first, so they get a bit of a pass. Sweden itself is northerly, and it's not like they had someone else's mistakes to learn from.

Although, quite frankly, even if there had been someone else's failed attempts to learn from, it is doubtful that that would have stopped Charles XII, the young, brash, and ridiculously successful King of Sweden. Charles was a genius military commander, and dangerous risk taker. He frequently dove into battles with forces that vastly outnumbered his own, and usually came out victorious. Charles was That Kid. You know, that kid in school who claimed to never study for a test, and then got full marks. Charles was the monarchy equivalent of that kid, and, quite frankly, the rest of Europe was a little sick of it.


See, Sweden at the time was something of a world power. They'd taken most of the land around the Baltic sea. The only things they didn't own was Denmark and Norway (Norway belonged to Denmark). This worried the Danes, as well as the newly minted Czar of Russia, Peter the Great. So, to combat the Swedish, the Danes, Russians, Poles and Saxons (part of modern Germany) all decided to gang up on Charles. They were banking on his youth and inexperience (Charles was only 18 at the time). Bad decision. Charles was not only something of a genius, but he had good advisers, ad he listened to them. When the Danes came for Sweden, Charles snck into Denmark, and took them down. Then he turned his eyes to Poland, and successfully installed a King favorable to Sweden. Done with Poland, he turned his eyes to Russia.

Charles had had great success with small armies that attacked quickly and unexpected. He adopted the same strategy in Russia. In 1700 he attacked Narva, a town in Modern Estonia. He was outnumbered about 3 to 1, and it was the middle of a blizzard. Remarkably, but also unsurprisingly, Charles won.

Peter the Great, czar of Russia at the time
of Charles XII's invasion.

The Swedes continued across Russia like this, but the Russians, as per the usual, implemented a scorched earth policy, leaving nothing for the Swedes to eat. The Russians then cut off the Swede's supply lines. Despite all this, the war wasn't going too badly for the Swedes, until General Frost stepped in.

1709 was one of the coldest winters of that era. 2,000 Swedish soldiers died from cold in a single night. Northern Russia wasn't a good place to hang out, so, against the council of his advisers, Charles decided to winter with his buddy Mazeppa in the Ukraine.  

Ivan Mazeppa was a former Russian ally who wanted to get the Russians out of Ukraine. He told Charles of his plan to start an Ukranian rebellion, and invited Charles to invade. Never one to pass up new territory, Charles agreed.

Thing was, most of Charles' forces were very ill, and couldn't fight. Charles himself had been wounded. Additionally, the Russians found out about the planned uprising, and moved to quash it before it even began. So when Charles arrived in Ukraine he had much fewer Ukrainian troops than expected, and only the skeleton of an army.

Realizing the fight was already lost, Charles escaped with 2,000 of his sickest men, leaving the rest of the army behind. The Russians caught up with them, thoroughly defeating the 16,000 Swedish forces left behind.

Next up to the plate was the young French protegee, Napoleon. The year was 1812, and Napoleon had had it with Russia. Russia was supposed to be his ally. They were buds. They were part of the continental system, they had no reason to fight each other, and they promised each other that neither of them would trade with England. It was a good arrangement. For France.

What Napoleon failed to realize was that this arrangement wasn't helping out Russia very much. Russia needed trade with the English to bolster its economy, and France had done the unthinkable--they helped Poland.

Napoleon Bonaparte, making sure
his ribs are still there.

Well, Napoleon couldn't handle that sort of betrayal, not from an ally, so he invaded Russia to teach Czar Alexander a lesson. He gathered some 450,000 men (give or take), the largest military force ever assembled in Europe to that point (probably). With his typical modesty, Napoleon named his forces the 'Grande Armee'

Now, I have absolutely zero historical evidence to back this up, but I imagine Czar Alexander's reaction to Napoleon's invasion was something like 'lol wut?', and he slipped on his shades, and watched the French armies confidently walk into his territory, just knowing that they wouldn't last a year in Russia.

As I mentioned, there's no historical evidence, but it's a pretty amusing picture.

What is fact, though, is that the Russians put up very little resistance to the French at first. Instead of standing to fight, they let the French take the towns of Vilna, Vitesbk, and Smolensk, virtually without a fight. Instead of fighting the Russians torched the cities and all surrounding crops, leaving the French to die of starvation, exposure, and sporadic attacks. This worked very well. Tens of thousands of soldiers died of starvation, exhaustion, and dehydration. Many more deserted.

The Russians didn't stand and fight until the French were just 75 miles from Moscow. The French and Russians were fairly evenly matched, and each suffered heavy losses. The Russians, however, decided not to stick around. They set fire to Moscow, all of Moscow's food storage, and left, leaving only a large amount of hard liquor behind.

Czar Alexander I

So, while they French may have been merrily drunk, they were also starving. Napoleon had decided to stay in Moscow for a while, and wait for Czar Alexander to make peace, but Czar Alexander decided to sit back, and let winter take care of things. Eventually, Napoleon threw in the towel, and decided to head back to France, just as winter was approaching.


Now, this went as well as you might expect, which is to say, poorly. The Russians were determined that the French stay out, so they drove the remnants of the Grand Armee along the same route they came in on. If the food options had been picked over before, they were completely nonexistant on the way back. The Russians kept the French from ranging further afield to find further sustenance. Added to that was the cold. Many men froze overnight. Dead bodies were stacked up against walls to provide insulation, and tales were told of men slitting open their horses, and climbing inside them to keep warm. The French died in massive waves, and only 20,000 of them returned home to France.

Then there's Hitler. As I'm sure you well know, nothing good ever starts with Hitler, and this is no different. Stalin was in charge of Russia at the time, and both of these repugnant knaves should have studied their history. Had they done so, many lives would have been saved, because:

1. Hitler would have known better than to invade Russia. 
2. Stalin wouldn't have insisted that no city be surrendered, and instead adopted the scorched earth tactics that has kept Russia independent for so many generations.

Adolf Hitler, looking unfriendly as usual.

Instead, Hitler and the Germans were the ones scorching the earth, and the citizens of the USSR were being attacked by not only the Germans, but their own government. Stalin ordered that deserters and suspected traitors be shot, not to mention his abhorrent policy of relocating ethnic minorities to Siberia.

Having conquered France, Hitler needed to get on with the rest of the world. Conquering the UK would be a difficult, and not entirely worthwhile endeavor, so he decided to go after his land and resource rich neighbor, the USSR. This was the start of 'Operation Barbarossa'. 

Germany and the USSR had signed a non-aggression pact two years before, but Hitler still considered communism a major threat to the German Empire he wanted to build. Because Nazi Germany didn't do anything by halves, Hitler planned to completely wipe out the communist population of the USSR, not just the Jews, Romani, Homosexuals, and political dissenters that he usually went after.  

Hitler started by forming a group of elite troops called the Einsatzgruppen. He sent these soldiers into Russia to murder Jewish males, communist leaders, and anyone who looked like they might start a resistance, en masse. He then gathered a force of more than three million soldiers, and stormed Russia's frontier. While Allied powers had repeatedly warned Stalin about a German invasion, Stalin had refused to listen, and was caught by 'surprise'. 

Unlike his predecessors, Stalin refused to give ground. He ordered that no city surrender or be abandoned. As a result of that three million USSR soldiers were taken captive in Kiev. Instead of evacuating the countryside, and torching all the crops, villagers were ordered to stay put, and anyone suspected of disloyalty or cowardice was shot. Because of this the Germans were able to subsist off the crops of the small Russian villages, and were able to penetrate further into USSR territory.

Josef Stalin, committer of mass genocide
and luxurious mustache model.

Looking through the lens of history, Hitler has done far better than expected. However, according to Hitler and company, the invasion of the USSR was taking far longer than expected. Hitler had expected the invasion of Russia to go like the invasion of France, quick and relatively painless. But the Russians held out far longer than he'd expected. By the time the Germans were ready to head to Moscow, winter wasn't too far away.

And, in a move that will surely have you banging your head against the nearest flat surface, the Germans did not have any winter supplies. They hadn't expected to stay the winter, and so they were completely unprepared. They started to slowly retreat, but before they could get out of Russia entirely, war had flared up again in the west with the invasion of Normandy. 

Unlike previous invasions, the failure of Operation Barbarossa was not a decisive win for the Russians. Had another front not opened up Hitler would have most likely started the invasion up again in the spring. The German soldiers were able to subsist off the food they found in the countryside, all they lacked was warm clothing. Had Stalin stuck to the proven tactics of his forerunners, and set everything on fire, WWII may have gone much differently.

Sources

National Interest

History Net

Encyclopedia Britannica
History.com
BBC History
BBC History-Operation Barbarossa
United States Holocaust Memorial Museum
History.com

Damn, Girl-Sojourner Truth

Sojourner Truth is one of the legendary activists that America all too often forgets about. Active during the nineteenth century, Truth was a respected abolitionist and feminist, whose public speaking skills were absolutely legendary. She was a 'radical' of the time, and lobbied for not only abolitionism and women's rights, but prison reform and an end to capital punishment. Not only that, Sojourner had guts. She escaped her cruel master, and successfully sued a southern family to get her son back from slavery. She repeatedly protested segregation of Washington DC streetcars by sitting in a section reserved for whites, despite having been thrown from the streetcar. This woman worked tirelessly her whole life to see positive changes in the world.


Sojourner was born Isabelle Baumfree to a Dutch speaking couple who belonged to a Dutch speaking white man in New York state. Her date of birth was not recorded because racism, but it's guessed that she was born in the late 1790s. She was bought and sold a grand total of four times, and had five children before leaving* her master with the help of a local abolitionist family. This same family later helped her with the law suit that would return custody of Sojourner's son, Peter, to her.

After her escape Sojourner moved to New York City where she joined a cult and worked as a domestic servant. This inspired her to go west and become an itinerant preacher, and at age 52 she changed her name to 'Sojourner Truth'. As a preacher, Truth was introduced to Frederick Douglass and William Lloyd Garrison, who convinced her to speak out about abolitionism. She soon began championing women's rights as well.

Sojourner spoke at hundreds of gatherings. She was a charismatic and persuasive speaker. She's best know for her moving 'Ain't I a Woman' speech given at a women's conference in Akron, Ohio. This speech is the first example of inter-sectional feminism--showing how women were not equal to men, and how black women were not equal to white women.

To appropriate a lyric from Lin Manuel-Miranda, Sojourner was non stop. She started her activism career at 52, and in the time between that and her death forty years later she not only lobbied for an end to slavery, but she:

• Recruited young African-American men for the Union army
• Provided supplies for said army
• Consulted with the Freedmens' Bureau in Washington DC 
• Lobbied for an African-American colony in the west so that freed slaves could become self-sufficient  
• Protested segregation
• Assisted in helping freed slaves get settled on lands in Kansas
• Continued to fight for women's suffrage 

She eventually settled in Battle Creek Michigan with her daughter, and continued to fight for equality until she died of old age. 

Bust of Truth located in the US Capitol. She
was the first African American woman to be
honored in this way.

Sojourner Truth was the inter-sectional feminist we all wish we were. She fought bitterly with Frederick Douglass to make suffrage for black women, as well as black men, a priority. She pointed out the discrepancies in how white women versus how black women were treated. Sojourner Truth didn't pull punches, and that's one of the reasons she was such an influential woman. She said what she meant, no matter if white or male feelings would be hurt. She understood that racism and misogyny were closely related, and she did her utmost to correct both of those problems.


*You'll notice I said 'leaving', not 'escaping'. Sojourner left in 1827, when, by New York law, she should have been emancipated. Her then master, John Dumont, claimed that she still owed him work. Sojourner wasn't having that, and she walked off one morning with her infant child Sophia.

Sources
History.com Biography
Biography.com
National Women's History Museum
National Parks Service Biography
Blackpast.org
Sojourner Truth Memorial
Architecture of the Capitol

Austria vs. Austria-i.e. The Big Screw Up of 1788

So it's 1788 and, big surprise, Europe is at war. It's Russia/Austria versus the Ottoman Empire, and Austria is only a very reluctant participant. In fact, the only reason Austria is at war at all is because Austria is afraid of Russia, and the Ottomans pissed off Catherine the Great, so there they are.

Catherine the Great, not a woman you want to anger

The Austrian army is waiting for the Ottomans near the town of Karansebes, and as you can imagine, the Austrians aren't super happy to be traipsing around the countryside, so it's no surprise when a group of scouts buy a large amount of alcohol off a nearby band of Roma people.  The scouts took their booze back to camp, and started having a good time. They were getting a bit rowdy around the fire when a group of foot soldiers came over, and asked if they too could have some alcohol. The scouts, who obviously failed kindergarten, refused to share. The foot soldiers weren't too pleased, and resorted to fisticuffs.

Simple fisticuffs soon turned into a full on brawl. We've got groups of angry Austrians, some of them drunk, hundreds of miles from home, fighting an enemy they have no good reason to be fighting, and, dammit, they just want to get (more) drunk. Tempers are high, and soon the guns come out.

Men are shooting at each other. The scouts with the booze have erected fortifications, and the camp is in total mayhem when some bright fellow yelled that the Turks were attacking. That's when real pandemonium breaks out. Those in command are trying to organize the men, but the soldiers were drawn from all over the Austro-Hungarian Empire, and they speak dozens of languages. Some of the orders sound like people shouting 'Allah, Allah', which only drives the frenzy.

The fighting goes on for hours until the Austrian generals manage to sound a general retreat, leaving some 10,000 men dead on the field. Two hours later the, very confused I'm sure, Ottomans took Karansebes without a fight.


There is debate about the validity of this tale, given that the incident wasn't written about until some 40 years later, but friendly fire does happen, and accidentally killing 10k of your own men, and then retreating from yourself isn't exactly something that the generals want to write home to the emperor about.

Unfortunately for the poor Austrians, the Austro-Turkish war would drag on for another three years, and neither side would come out on top.  The battle of Karansebes is an amusing anecdote, but like most fighting, it was a pointless waste of life in a pointless war.

Sources
Worldatlas
Today I Found Out

Flora MacDonald Was a Badass, And I Want a Romance Novel About Her

The year is 1746, and the Scottish countryside is in turmoil. Bands of British soldiers scour the countryside for Jacobite supporters, while ravens still circle the field of Culloden. People hide their bagpipes and their swords wherever they can, and the Hanovarians brook no resistance.

Meanwhile, a young, handsome prince trailed by a few of his exhausted, but devoted followers flee through the Scottish highlands for their lives. Prince Charles Stuart is weary and heartsick. His brave rebellion, once so noble and optimistic has come to a screaming, bloody halt. The screams of the fallen still haunt him, and he knows it's his fault. 

Yet, the Highlanders do not condemn him. They offer shelter and safe passage, despite the bounty on his head. He would have been dead a thousand times over if not for their help.

It's the dead of night when they dock at Benbecula. The sea is dark and inscrutable, the scent of salt drifts on the breeze. Charlie and his remaining followers hide in the craggy rocks of the coastline while Captain O'Niell scouts the land. 

Charlie can feel every dull pounding of his heart as he wraps his arms around himself to try and get warm. Why does it still beat when so many others have been stilled? It was his pride, his arrogance, after all, that brought death to so many bright young men. The people he strove to protect, to liberate, he'd decimated them instead. The name of Stuart had once meant hope to so many people, now it just stood for death. 

A sharp call pierced the air. Prince Charlie stirred. Captain O'Niell was back.

The Captain poked his head around the weathered rock, "I've found a place, my prince." he said, "A Miss MacDonald said that she would hide us."

Bonny Prince Charlie is perhaps one of the best known Scottish folk heroes. Right along side him is Flora MacDonald is a Scottish heroine best known for assisting Bonny Prince Charlie escape to the Isle of Skye. Obviously, the above is fiction, but you cannot deny that Flora's encounter with the Young Pretender had more than a touch of romance to it.

Flora

Flora MacDonald was born on the Isle of South Uist in the outer Hebrides. She was educated and most likely wealthy, the ward of the Chief of Clan MacDonald. At the time she met Charlie she was engaged to an Allen MacDonald, a soldier in the Hanoverian army.

Despite her fiance's affiliations, and the fact that her step-father was also a part of the Hanoverian army, Flora was persuaded to help the Prince escape to the Isle of Raasay. She used her influence over her step-father to obtain a travel pass to mainland Scotland. She took the Prince with her, disguised as her maid. Once out in the water, Flora changed course for the Isle of Raasay.

The Young Pretender disembarked there, leaving her with only a locket containing his portrait, and the crime of treason. Once word of Charlie's escape spread, Flora was imprisoned in the Tower of London.

Luckily for her, her story doesn't end there. She was released from the tower, and married her Allen. She then went on to fight on the British side of the American Revolutionary War, and stand up to French Privateers. She was a remarkable woman in no way defined by the men she loved. But I still really want a historical romance novel about her and Bonny Prince Charlie.

Because it would be the perfect story. They had two days, maybe three together. She was saving his life, and he was the handsome, rakish ladies man. It would make for a fantastic story, and I will make brownies for whoever writes it for me.

Sources
Historic UK
North Carolina History

Sweden, the Gregorian Calendar, and the Double Leap Year of 1712

Not a lot happened in 1582. As far as world events go, it was pretty quiet. 1582 was, however the year of  the reform of the Julian calendar, which was a pretty big deal.

Pope Gregory XIII decided that some major changes were needed in the Catholic church. Germanic countries were leaving the faith left and right, and this upstart priest kept nailing things to church doors. Gregory implemented many of the changes decided upon in the Council of Trent, but he also decided to reform the calendar, because the Julian calendar was downright inaccurate.

Pope Gregory XIII

Why was the Julian calendar inaccurate, you ask. Well, according to the Julian calendar every year has 365.25 days. In actuality, a day is eleven minutes short of that easy number, which I think we can all agree was a bit of a dick move on the part of Mother Nature. This meant that by our friend Greg's time the Julian calendar was a wee bit inaccurate. The Julian calendar had been in use for over 1,600 yeas. Eleven minutes over more than a millennia starts to add up after a while, and the Julian calendar was about two weeks ahead of time when Pope Gregory was kicking it in the Vatican. This wouldn't have been much of an issue, except it made scheduling Easter a little difficult, and that really would not do. So Pope Gregory decided to adopt a new calendar.

Gregory's calendar was a major success in Catholic countries like Poland, Italy, France and Spain, but Protestants viewed it with suspicion. Protestants were convinced that this new calendar was yet another way that the Catholic Church was trying to control the world. Obviously, the whole political point of Protestantism was to avoid that, so Protestant nations told the Pope to go to hell, and continued in their Julian ways for quite some time.

Slowly, however, most nations relented. It was a bit difficult to be out of sync with the rest of the world. Turkey was the last hold out, and put off adopting the calendar untilf 1927. To get in sync with the Gregorian calendar, most nations dropped days from their calendar. The Americans lost most of September in 1752, as did the English and Canadians. However, when Sweden adopted the calendar in 1712, the proposed to add two days to February.

Sweden at the time also encompassed the nation of Finland, and 1712 would normally have been a leap year, as under the Julian calendar all years divisible by four are leap years (including years that end in 100 that aren't divisible by 400). However, to get in sync with the shiny new(ish) Gregorian calendar, the Swedes added an extra day, bringing around the once-in-a-lifetime February 30th.

Unfortunately, nothing momentous seems to have happened in Sweden on that day. It was a bit of a slow news week. Nobody important was born, and nothing big happened, at least as far as I can find. It's a shame really. February 30th only came around (for Sweden anyways) once, you would think that someone would have made a big deal out of it. But no luck. Were it not for the oddity of the date, February 30, 1712 would have been just another boring day in history.

Sources

Gregorian Calendar
Time and Date
Julian vs. Gregorian (first two pages)
February 30
Pope Gregory