Damn, Girl-Christine de Pizan

Just as Sappho is the Mama Lesbian, Christine de Pizan is the Mama Feminist. Christine was the first European woman to make a living from her writing, and her book The Book of the City of Ladies was one of the first books on feminism ever written.

Christine at her desk.

Born in 1364, Christine started her life in Venice, but her family moved to France when she was three years old. Her father, Thomas de Pizan, had received an appointment as astrologer to Charles V. Living with the royal court gave Christine access to a vast library or literary and rhetorical works. Though not much is known about her education, or if she was even formally educated at all, the quality of her literature show that Christine was obviously well read.

At the age of 15 Christine married royal secretary Etienne de Castel. It is unknown if they were  happy or not, but they did have three children¹ together before Etienne died of the bubonic plague after ten years of marriage. Etienne's death left Christine with no source of income, a substantial amount of debt, and two children and a recently widowed mother to support.

Illuminated page from The Book of
the City of Ladies

Luckily, Christine was a talented writer, and the French court had a fever that could only be cured with more poetry. Christine put out ballads about love, loss, and widowhood which brought her to the attention to royal patrons like Isabelle of Bavaria, the Duke of Orleans, and the 4th Earl of Salisbury.

For the first few years of her career, Christine mostly wrote poetry and moralistic works. Until in 1402 when Christine decided to pick a fight with a dead man. ²

Jean de Meun wrote a second half to The Romance of the Rose in 1280ish. In his poetry, de Meun was biting and cruel about ever member of society, but Christine took particular offense at the way he treated women in his works. He portrayed women as little more than one dimensional seductress ruled by their own lusts.  In her response Christine argued that women are much more complex than de Meun portrayed them. She starts by criticizing de Meun, but ends by criticizing the entire European canon at the time, censuring the many works about the nature of women, none of which were written by women.

Christine writing

This sparked a long term literary debate which would bring her to the attention of monarchs around Europe. It also sparked a long term passion for writing about women and women's history. In her seminal work The Book of the City of Ladies, Pizan imagines a world built by women, for women, free from misogyny. Within that framework she tells the stories of the great women who came before her, without the misogynistic bias that colored the accounts of so many male writers.

In around 1415 Christine retired a convent with her daughter. The increasing political unrest, and the disaster at the Battle of Agincourt, had her rattled, and she was ready to retire from public life. In 1429 she released The Tale of Joan of Arc, a ballad that basically fangirled over Joan of Arc and her victories. The Tale of Joan of Arc was Christine's last work, and she doesn't appear in public record anywhere else. It's generally assumed that she died shortly after.

Christine had a massive impact on the writers and political leaders of her day. Her works attacking the traditional patriarchal society influenced other female writers, and also influenced future female monarchs, such as Louise of Savoy, Anne of Brittany, and Leonor of Portugal.


¹A daughter named Marie, a son named Jean, and a second unnamed son who died in infancy.
²A move I cannot help but applaud. It's the sort of thing I have done would do.

Sources
Christine de Pisan-Brooklyn Museum
Christine de Pizan: Her Works
Christine de Pisan-Britannica
Christine de Pisan-New World Encyclopedia
Christine de Pisan-Biography

The Time Da Vinci and Machiavelli Teamed Up to Steal the River Arno

Coming up with a way to steal an entire geological feature is the sort of whimsical nonsense that you would expect from inventor/engineer/artist/scientist/architect/professional hand model* Leonardo da Vinci. Scheming to deprive a rival city of life necessities to gain the upper hand politically is the sort of unethical dickery you'd expect from Niccolo Machiavelli. Put these two together, and you have the plotline of a Renaissance buddy heist comedy.

Niccolo Machiavelli

It's the turn of the century--the sixteenth century-- and Italy is, as ever, a hot mess. Florence and Pisa are fighting, the Borgia family is causing problems (again), and Milan now has tanks and fancy siege machines thanks to the genius of one Leonardo da Vinci.

Due to a recent Florentine regime change, political mastermind Niccolo Machiavelli is in a position of power at the Florentine court. He's looking for a way to enrich Florence and end the conflict with Pisa once and for all--preferably without bloodshed. He found his answer when visiting the court of Cesare Borgia in 1502.

Leonardo da Vinci was residing at Borgia's court when Machiavelli came to visit. He had just finished up working for the Duke of Milan, and when he wasn't busy spying on Borgia for Florence, he was pretty fascinated with whole concept of water.

Presumably, at some point these two men met, or at least were put in contact with each other. Between the pair of them, they hatched a brilliant scheme to make Florence rich, and screw over Pisa once and for all. They were going to steal the river Arno.

da Vinci worked on the Mona Lisa while plotting to steal

the Arno, and he included the Arno as the background into

his painting.

The river Arno was the main water source for Florence, as well as for Pisa. By stealing the Arno, Machiavelli and da Vinci hoped to not only deprive Pisa of the ability to grow their own crops, bathe, and stay alive, but to irrigate the farmlands of Florence, and turn a profit by selling the water to local farmers. Additionally, the water would be diverted into a series of canals that made it possible for ships to sail from Florence to the Mediterranean. Stealing the Arno would be a real win for Florence, and a death sentence for Pisa.

Stealing a river is a pretty big task, but da Vinci didn't care. He gleefully set about making plans that involved tunneling under a mountain, moving millions of tons of dirt, and required some 50,000 workers. Once Machiavelli signed off on them, his plans went to the engineer Columbino--the real villain of this story.

Columbino isn't really a villain, he was just under a lot of pressure, and he didn't listen to da Vinci. Instead of digging one massive trench, Columbino decided to build two shallow trenches, and let the river erode them into one. Additionally, he underestimated the amount of time and men he'd need to build the canals. This wouldn't have been an issue, except war broke out, and Columbino and his workers were under frequent attack by the Pisans.

Needless to day, Columbino's construction failed. The Arno destroyed the two canals, and more or less stayed on its course. The Florentines and Pisans worked it out, and Machiavelli and da Vinci parted ways, never to discuss their project again.

*I'm joking

Sources
Leonardo da Vinci
An Intriguing Partnership on the Arno
The Leonardo-Machiavelli Plan to Divert the Arno
Leonardo's Plan
Columbino's Plan
Plan to Regulate the River Arno in Florence

Damn, Girl-Lozen

Famed warrior, medicine woman, and military strategist, Lozen was dubbed 'the shield of her people' by her brother, Chief Victorio. Lozen helped her brother fight against the United States and Mexican governments, and helped her band of Apache escape from the inhospitable reservations they were forced onto. Her skills at stealing horses, and her ability to sense where her enemies were is legendary, and to this day she is honored as one of the fiercest and bravest women in Apache history.

Lozen

Lozen was born in the late 1840s, somewhere in the American Southwest. She belonged to the Chihende band, and around age twelve answered the call to become a medicine woman. In addition to healing, Lozen felt drawn to being a warrior. Instead of learning the traditional female tasks, she learned how to fight, and, by all reports, was quite good at it.

It should be noted that 'Lozen' is probably not Lozen's actual name. 'Lozen' is an Apache title given to someone who is good at stealing horses. Many Apache of the era didn't give out their given names, because they felt that the use of their given names would diminish their spiritual power.

It's the 1870s, and Native American-United States Federal Government relations are predictably hostile. The United States has all this new land they stole won from Mexico that they're trying to settle and mine, and the Apache (as well as other tribes) are in the way. In a totally fair and ethical move, the United States Government decided that it would be a reasonable solution to round up the Native Americans, and sequester them on the pieces of land that nobody else wanted. The Native Americans were, unsurprisingly, not too keen on that idea, and conflicts between tribes and the US Government were breaking out all over the country.

The Chihende band was no different. They had been forced onto the San Carlos reservation in Arizona, and there wasn't enough food or resources. So in 1877 Chief Victorio, Lozen's brother, defied the US Government, led his band off of the reservation, and headed back towards their traditional lands near Ojo Caliente.

They were pursued relentlessly by US troops, and the band was on the run for about two years. While on the run, Lozen was one of the chief strategists for her band. Victorio referred to her as his 'right hand', and she was responsible for Apache success in several skirmishes.

Lozen's brother, Victorio

Strategy wasn't Lozen's only gift. She was also able to tell what direction their attackers would come from. She would go onto the plain, and pray to Ussen, the Apache Creator God. She would follow the sun, and when her arms would tingle, and her veins darken she could tell in what direction their enemies were. She was able to warn her band of many attacks this way, and Victorio credited her and her talents as being directly responsible for keeping their people safe.

In 1879, Victorio and the warriors of the Chihende were killed by Mexican forces near Chihuahua. Lozen rode from the Mescalero reservation to hunt for survivors. There were almost none. Lozen joined the rest of her band, and went back to San Carlos, the reservation they had escaped from two years prior.

In 1881, Lozen and the Chihende left San Carlos for Mexico. While there, they joined up with Geronimo, Naiche, Juh, and Fun. A year later, Lozen and Geronimo's warriors led a raid on San Carlos that freed nearly 600 Apache. They hid in the Sierra Madre mountains, raiding the surrounding areas. They gradually moved north towards San Carlos, and they were free for about four years, until the Apache were forced into unconditional surrender in 1886. Lozen, Geronimo, and Naiche were sent off to Florida as prisoners of war, and Lozen died in an Alabama prison a few years later.

Sources
Lozen: An Intelligent and Brave Apache Warrior Woman
The Story of Lozen
Lozen: Apache Warrior Woman
Apache Women in History
Mescalero Apache Tribe

The Annexation of Hawaii Was a Bit of a Dick Move

Hawaii, the 50th state, is a prime example of the US Imperialism that supposedly doesn't exist. Queen Liliuokalani, the last monarch of Hawaii, was essentially overthrown by a group of US marines, and the state was annexed to the US to provide a ship fueling station, despite vehement protests from the majority of islanders.

Iolani Palace, built by King Kalakaua as part of his revival
of Hawaiian nationalism.

Hawaii was doing its Hawaii thing in 1778 when Captain James Cook 'discovered' it. The islands were made up of a tribal culture, with many chieftains or 'kings'. They welcomed Cook with open arms, and, surprisingly enough, he didn't embark upon a spree of mass slaughter. In fact, there was no slaughter at all, excepting the slaughter that came from European microbes.

Microbes weren't the only thing that came to Hawaii from Europe. European ideals also became quite popular. Churches, land ownership, and a unified state followed not long after the Europeans. Unfortunately, American and European businessman came as well.

Fast forward a few decades, and sugar exportation is a key part of the Hawaiian economy. Hawaiian natives had been wary of the sugar trade from the start, hearing that it would lead to annexation. They weren't paranoid. White sugar exporters were worried about native resistance, and in 1887, the 'Bayonet Treaty' was forced upon King Kalakaua.

Queen Lili'uokalani

The Bayonet Treaty is thus named because it was forced upon King Kalakaua at gunpoint. A group of white businessmen, backed by US marines, were growing concerned about the King's attempts to revitalize the culture and power of Native Hawaiians. Their official reason was that they were concerned by the king's spending. This treaty stripped Kalakaua of all executive power, and replaced his cabinet with white businessmen. It also disenfranchised Native voters, essentially leaving Hawaii under the control of the sugar exporters.

Kalakaua died in 1891, and his sister, Lili'uokalani became queen. Lili'uokalani made the white buisnessmen even more nervous than her brother, because she had every intention of reforming the 'constitution' forced on Hawaii by the haole, and restoring Hawaiian home rule. Worried about their wallets, the businessmen staged a bloodless coup in 1893 and formed a revolutionary government, stating that US annexation would be the best thing for Hawaiian economy.

John Stevens, the US ambassador to Hawaii, declared the islands to be a US protectorate. Of course, he hadn't consulted anyone in Washington about this. President Benjamin Harrison signed the treaty of annexation, but Grover Cleveland came into office before it could be passed by the Senate.

Grover Cleveland wasn't too pleased by the goings on in Hawaii. President Cleveland wasn't here for imperialism, and he rescinded the treaty, and put Stevens under investigation. He ordered a dissolution of the revolutionary government, and ordered that Lili'uokalani be restored to the throne immediately.

Sanford Dole, President of the Republic of Hawaii

In a truly mature act Stevens and Sanford Dole, the president of the revolutionary government, stated that since the US refused to annex Hawaii, the US wasn't in charge of them, so they declared Hawaii a republic, and went on doing as they pleased.

Meanwhile, Native Hawaiians were petitioning the US government to do something, and Queen Lili'uokalani was placed under house arrest. This continued until 1897, when William McKinley became president of the United States. McKinley was less squeamish about imperialism than his predecessor, and he was also getting into the Spanish-American war. Add in a fear of a Japanese invasion, and the need for a pacific boat-fueling station, and McKinley signed the treaty. On July 7, 1898, Hawaii was formerly annexed to the United States.


There are very few instances where the US Government has betrayed the ideals upon which it was founded as grossly as it did in Hawaii. Not only did United States military forces carry out aggressive actions against a peaceful nation in hopes of conquest, but standard taxation was later imposed upon the islands, despite the lack of legislative representation. Anyone who has ever even looked at the history of the US knows that the original 13 colonies rebelled against the English for that very reason. Yet when the shoe was on the other foot, nobody cared.


Sources
The Annexation of Hawaii-History of the House of Representatives
Petition Against the Annexation of Hawaii
Annexation of Hawaii, 1898
The 1897 Petition Against the Annexation of Hawaii
Hawaii Government and Society
The Annexation of Hawaii-Digital History
Annexing Hawaii: The Real Story