Austria vs. Austria-i.e. The Big Screw Up of 1788

So it's 1788 and, big surprise, Europe is at war. It's Russia/Austria versus the Ottoman Empire, and Austria is only a very reluctant participant. In fact, the only reason Austria is at war at all is because Austria is afraid of Russia, and the Ottomans pissed off Catherine the Great, so there they are.

Catherine the Great, not a woman you want to anger

The Austrian army is waiting for the Ottomans near the town of Karansebes, and as you can imagine, the Austrians aren't super happy to be traipsing around the countryside, so it's no surprise when a group of scouts buy a large amount of alcohol off a nearby band of Roma people.  The scouts took their booze back to camp, and started having a good time. They were getting a bit rowdy around the fire when a group of foot soldiers came over, and asked if they too could have some alcohol. The scouts, who obviously failed kindergarten, refused to share. The foot soldiers weren't too pleased, and resorted to fisticuffs.

Simple fisticuffs soon turned into a full on brawl. We've got groups of angry Austrians, some of them drunk, hundreds of miles from home, fighting an enemy they have no good reason to be fighting, and, dammit, they just want to get (more) drunk. Tempers are high, and soon the guns come out.

Men are shooting at each other. The scouts with the booze have erected fortifications, and the camp is in total mayhem when some bright fellow yelled that the Turks were attacking. That's when real pandemonium breaks out. Those in command are trying to organize the men, but the soldiers were drawn from all over the Austro-Hungarian Empire, and they speak dozens of languages. Some of the orders sound like people shouting 'Allah, Allah', which only drives the frenzy.

The fighting goes on for hours until the Austrian generals manage to sound a general retreat, leaving some 10,000 men dead on the field. Two hours later the, very confused I'm sure, Ottomans took Karansebes without a fight.


There is debate about the validity of this tale, given that the incident wasn't written about until some 40 years later, but friendly fire does happen, and accidentally killing 10k of your own men, and then retreating from yourself isn't exactly something that the generals want to write home to the emperor about.

Unfortunately for the poor Austrians, the Austro-Turkish war would drag on for another three years, and neither side would come out on top.  The battle of Karansebes is an amusing anecdote, but like most fighting, it was a pointless waste of life in a pointless war.

Sources
Worldatlas
Today I Found Out

Damn, Girl- Medici: Lucrezia Tornabuoni

So I've already talked about Medici: Masters of Florence a little bit, but the more research I do into the historical background of the Medicis of this era the more I feel compelled to write about them, particularly about the one of the two leading ladies of the show--Lucrezia Tornabuoni, because honestly, talk about a role model. This lady kicked ass in the political arena, provided significant services for the people of Florence, and was a major artistic patron, as well as an artist herself.

Lucrezia in her youth painted by Piero Benci

Lucrezia was born into a powerful family, and married into another. Her husband, Piero, was later the head of the Medici bank, and was basically the ruler of Florence from 1464-1469. However, Piero was bedridden, so Lucrezia did most of the legwork--literally. That wasn't all she did though, Lucrezia was known for her charitable works and her writing as well.

As mentioned, Lucrezia did a lot of the legwork during her husband's time as leader of Florence. She settled disputes between citizens, received petitions, and acted as ambassador for the city, not something a woman of her era typically did. Her father-in-law, Cosimo de Medici, openly valued her advice, and admired her decision making skills. Lucrezia fostered good relations with her children and grandchildren, so when her son, Lorenzo the Magnificent, came to power she was able to advise him politically.

Lucrezia did a large number of charitable things during her lifetime. She was known for helping fund convents, particularly for donating cloth for nuns to use for their habits. She provided dowries for impoverished women so they could marry*, and took care of widows and orphans by seeing that their relatives were given church positions so that they could support their families.

She was also a keen businesswoman. Lucrezia owned several properties, and collected rents on shops, farms, and homes. Most notably, she purchased a defunct thermal bath in Bagno a Morbo, and refurbished the dump into a profitable business venture. In addition to this, she managed many of the Medici financial affairs while her husband Piero was bedridden with illness. She was known as a shrewd money manager, and her sons often looked to her for advice in this matter.

Lucrezia in her old age painted by Domenico
Ghirlandaio

But the talents of this amazing woman don't stop there, Lucrezia was also a writer! Her fictional work is almost entirely religious in nature, comprising retelling of bible stories as well as sonnets and lyrical poems on religious topics. Her letters also survive, and can be found here.

Lucrezia was an incredible woman far ahead of her time. She's the sort of woman that I would want my daughters to be like, and the sort of woman that would be incredibly successful and popular today. One can only imagine what she might have accomplished politically if allowed to run for office!


*On a side note, completely unsupported by historical fact (as far as I know), I really like the idea of Lucrezia being a sort of love vigilante, providing dowries for girls so they could marry their true loves, and helping set people up. (Her mother-in-law, Contessina di Bardi, was known for arranging marriages, and she and Lucrezia were very close, so it's plausible that Lucrezia could have done the same, right?) Just imagine- Lucrezia Tornabuoni de' Medici-- political badass and Cupid's handmaiden. If I was going to write a historical fiction novel about her, this would be the premise.

Sources
Monstrous Regiment of Women
Oxford Bibliographies
Medici Dynasty

How To Go To France Without Leaving North America

If you want to go to France, clap your hands.

Now, I'm sure that last sentence was followed by thunderous applause, because really, what lover of history doesn't want to travel? Especially to France--land of wine, magnificent churches, and endless disputes with the English, it's a history lover's dream, right? Most of my readers are American (except for the large minority of readers from Israel, which, shout out to you guys!), and you're probably thinking something along the lines of 'Yeah, I'd love to go to France, but it's  expensive! A plane ticket to Paris is several thousand dollars, and that's just the ticket!'. Well, I have some news for you, you can visit part of France without leaving North America.


Now, sure, North America France isn't quite the same as France France. There aren't large churches or sun kissed vineyards, though they've had their share of disputes with the English. There is, however, a rich history of fishing, bootlegging, and sticking it to the Nazis that you won't get in mainland France. Where am I talking about? St. Pierre and Miquelon.
St. Pierre and Miquelon is a group of eight small islands just off the coast of Newfoundland known for its plentiful fishing. It's a small area, the main island--St. Pierre--being home to only 6,000 people, but its a proud area that is, by all accounts, very French. French is the official language, and all residents speak it. There's dozens of bakeries, and the French flag flies over the island. The area has a rich and someone tumultuous history, starting from the very beginning.

The St. Pierre and Miquelon flag.

St. Pierre and Miquelon was first discovered by Proto-Inuit people. Then the Beothuk. Probably. It's hard to tell that far back. First Nation people isn't really who you expect to 'discover' places, but I think it's important that we remember every so often that Europeans didn't discover shit. Well, they discovered Europe (probably). But that's about it.

St. Pierre and Miquelon was later 'discovered' by several European explorers, but it was the French who established the first settlement in 1536. Now, as you probably know, the pre-1777 North America was basically a tug-of-war between France and Britain, with occasional Spanish distractions. Consequentially, the  islands were annexed by the British several times, only to be re-annexed by the French later. A lot of the early settlers of St. Pierre and Miquelon ended up emigrating to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, but despite the danger French, Breton, and Basque fisherman continued to come to the islands because of their fertile fishing waters.

By 1816 the British decided to leave well enough alone, and the inhabitants of St. Pierre and Miquelon were able to return to their peaceful fishing. The island mostly did its thing interrupted until the 1920s, when America decided that prohibiting alcohol was a good idea.

Prohibition turned St. Pierre and Miquelon into an epicenter for bootlegging. Everything came in and out of the islands, and American gangsters used the area to store their illegal merchandise. St. Pierre even played host to the infamous Al Capone. The illicit activity brought great prosperity to the islands, and fishing was more or less abandoned. Until the Americans repealed the Prohibition laws, and the islanders realized that basing an economy on one product is a bad idea. The island recovered however, and fishing resumed.

St. Pierre

World War Two was when things started to get interesting again. See, after the Germans took France the islands fell under the rule of the government of Vichy, which, while they weren't outright Nazis, they certainly had no inclination to oppose the Fuhrer. Both sides quickly realized that St. Pierre was an important tactical location for the invasion/protection of North America. Luckily, the Axis powers were unable to gain control of the islands, and St. Pierre became an important base for helping free France from Nazi rule.

Since then things have been fairly quiet in St. Pierre. It remains a small, isolated area that relies on its fishing industry, though the locals, along with oil companies, suspect that there is oil of its shores. Either way, St. Pierre and Miquelon remains a charming piece of France smack dab in the middle of Canada.

Sources
Lonely Planet
The Daily Beast
CIA World Factbook
St. Pierre and Miquelon Official Website
Grand Colombier