Damn, Girl-Artemisia I of Caria

Artemisia really pissed off the Athenians. Why? Because she led attacks against Athens, and won. How much did the Athenians hate Artemisia? Ten thousand drachmas worth of hatred. That's about a quarter million US dollars in today's currency.

Our girl

Artemisia was the queen of Caria, a region in the north of today's modern Turkey. Like many ancient queens before her, Artemisia was never meant to rule. She became queen when her husband died, and her son was too young to rule. She took to her role of queen regnant like a fish to water. She took advantage of the Carians previous alliance with the Persians to do a little conquering

It was 480 BCE, and King Xerxes of Persia was going after the Greek city states, specifically Athens. Artemisia gathered a fleet, and sailed out to help him. When she got there she joined King Xerxes' war council, where she became one of his most trusted and valued advisers.

Artemisia is well known for two really big moments in this war, and after that she more or less disappears from history. The reason we know about her at all is because of her #1 fan, Herodotus, who wrote so much about her in his record of the battle of Salamis (one of the two really big moments), that he's been accused of leaving out important parts of that battle, because he was too busy fangirling over Artemisia. Honestly though? #relateable. After reading about her, I'm fangirling too.

Why? You ask. What are these big moments? You demand. Why the hell haven't you gotten on with telling us what she actually did? You further inquire. I was looking for a good transition okay, shut up, I'll give you what you want.

Artemisia I's two big moments both came during this invasion of Greece. Though she was named after Artemis, she should have been named after Athene, because she demonstrated both great wisdom, and great skill in battle.

King Xerxes

1. So our bud Xerxes had destroyed Athens, and he was trying to figure out if he wanted to go for the rest of Greece, or nah. Partially as a test of his advisers, and partially because he was indecisive, Xerxes had his buddy, Mardonius, go around to each of his advisers, and ask them what they thought he should do, should he engage the Greeks in a naval battle, or pull back. All of Xerxes' advisers told him he should engage the Greeks in naval battle, except for Artemisia, who pointed out that the Greeks had a better navy than the Persians, and that it would be a much better strategy to simply starve the Greeks into submission. Everyone thought she would be executed for cowardice, boy were they surprised when Xerxes conceded that she was right. However, Xerxes also decreed that majority ruled, and proceeded to start the battle of Salamis.                                                                            
2. The Battle of Salamis was a naval engagement between the Persians and the Greeks, and, as Artemisia predicted, it wasn't going so well for the Persians, because, as might be expected for a nation made up entirely of small islands, the Greeks had a damn good navy. Despite the fact that her advice had been blatantly ignored, Artemisia brought her men to the party anyways. Things were proceeding as normal, men falling overboard, ships going up in flames, utter carnage as per usual, when Artemisia found herself caught between the advancing Greek forces, and the ships of her Persian allies. There was no escape, and it might have been the end for her, except for the fact that she had the foresight to have a greek flag in her hold as well as a Persian one. She had her men take down the Persian colors, and hoist the Greek ones. Then, to make sure the Greeks really thought she was one of them, she attacked the ships of the nation of Calynda, a fellow Persian ally whose king, Damasithymus, Artemisia particularly disliked. The Greeks were deceived, convinced that she was either a Greek or a Persian defector. Artemisia made it out of the battle alive, and though Damasithymus was upset, Xerxes thought she was brilliant, and honored her by having her take his two sons to Ephesus, because nothing says thank you quite like a royal order to babysit.

Artemisia

Following this, Artemisia isn't mentioned again. She passed out the rest of her life if not in peace, then not in particularly memorable unrest. Presumably, her son became king after her, though there is no record of his reign, just as there is no record of Artemisia's husband.

It should be noted that some of the deeds of Artemisia II are sometimes assigned to Artemisia I. It is generally agreed upon that Artemisia I's fame ends here, and Artemisia II has her own set of illustrious accomplishments. 

Sources

Ancient History Encyclopedia

Encyclopedia Britannica

Encyclopedia Iranica

Damn, Girl-Lakshmi Bai

Rani (Queen) Lakshmi Bai is often called the 'Joan of Arc of India', and with good reason. At just 22 years old she seized control of the kingdom of Jhansi, and spearheaded a revolt against the British. Like Joan, Lakshmi's life was short, but she certainly caused the English a lot of trouble.

Lakshmi was the daughter of a scholar and a king's adviser. She was raised with the young men of the court, and in addition to learning the usual school subjects, she was also trained in combat. She was, by all accounts, a lovely and intelligent young lady, and the age of fifteen, she married Raja Gangadhar Rao, Maharaja of the kingdom of Jhansi.

The couple were married for about ten years until Gangadhar died of illness. They had no surviving children, and so they had adopted a young cousin, Damodar Rao, as their own, and the throne passed to Damodar, despite the fact that he was only five years old.

Enter the English. The English had a policy at the time of stealing every bit of land they could. It was no different with Jhansi. In a move reminiscent of the Romans dealings with Boudicca, the English refused to recognize Damodar as being the rightful heir, and they moved in to take control. Lakshmi was granted a pension of 5,000 rupees a month, and Damodar was allowed to keep his palace, but control of Jhansi had ceded to the enemy.

Now, as you might imagine, the Indians were non too pleased with this arrangement. Big shock, I know. The Indians weren't very fond of having the British in their country in general, but then the English went a step too far, or the Indians thought that they did.

See, the English had enlisted thousands of sepoys, or native Indian soldiers, both Muslim and Hindu. When their superior officers introduced the Enfield Cartridges, the soldiers balked. They had heard rumors that the cartridges were greased with beef and pig fat. As the soldiers had to put the cartridge in their mouth to tear off the end before they could load it in the gun, they would be getting a small amount of beef or pork in their mouth, and, as you may no, beef and pork are serious no-nos in Hinduism and Islam respectively.

So the sepoys were being difficult. And by 'being difficult' I mean they were in revolt. To add to that, local revolutionaries in Jhansi had risen up and killed all the English civil servants and their families. This is when Lakshmi took control of the situation.

The narrative splits into two parts from here. Some sources claim that Lakshmi took instant control of the situation, and started hacking away at the English. There were even rumors that she'd started the revolt in the first place. Other sources claim that she took control of Jhansi in the name of the English, and asked them what to do. They never got back to her, so she just did what she wanted until the English pitched a fit a few months later.

The statue of Lakshmi at Jhansi

Here is where the story comes back together. The English soldiers marched on Jhansi, and besieged the fort where Lakshmi was living with her adopted son. Lakshmi commanded her soldiers as well as the rebels, and though they held the fort for a long time, they eventually had to escape.

From there they fled east to Gwalior. There had been skirmishes along the way, and by this point Lakshmi's forces were tired and few in number. In a last ditch effort against the English, Lakshmi tied her son to her back, armed herself with two swords, and plunged into battle. It was in this battle that she was killed.
 Today Lakshmi is remembered as a brilliant Indian queen who fought for freedom from the English. She is revered by the Indians, and her statue watches over Jhansi to this day.

Sources
Encyclopedia Britannica
Maps of India
History Net
The Famous People

Damn, Girl- Florence Nightingale, Lady With the Lamp

You've probably heard of Florence Nightingale, at least in passing, she basically invented modern nursing after all. But, heavens above, what an achievement that is. Nightingale was one of the first to insist on cleanliness and sterilization, meticulous record keeping, and giving patients nutritious food. During the Crimean War she cut the mortality rate of her hospital by 2/3rds, an amazing achievement, especially considering that the hospital was literally situated on top of a cesspool.

Florence was born into an aristocratic family, and at a young age showed a penchant for taking care of those in need. Deeply religious, in her teens Florence told her parents that God had shown her her destiny, and that her destiny was to be a nurse, and to help the sick (she's kinda like the medical Joan of Arc). Her parents were less than thrilled about this. They expected their daughter to marry an aristocrat and carry on the proud family tradition of being wealthy and marrying well, not work at what was considered a menial task. Nevertheless, Florence persisted, and she was able to receive nurses training.

After completing her training, Florence worked for some time in local British hospitals. Then the Crimean War broke out. Soldiers were dying en masse, and they were mostly dying from poor living and hospital conditions. Florence needed to do something about that. Luckily, she was friends with Sidney Herbert, the secretary of state for war. In a case of great minds thinking alike, she sent him a letter requesting to be sent to Crimea with a group of female nurses, and he sent her a letter asking the exact same thing. On November 5, 1854 Florence arrived in Scutari, Turkey.

Florence likened the Barrack Hospital in Scutari to the Kingdom of Hell. I mentioned before that the hospital was located on a cesspool. The cesspool poisoned the water and air. Soldiers were poorly attended, lying in their own urine and feces, and the hospital was severely overcrowded. Upon arriving in her living quarters, Florence found the body of a dead Russian soldier abandoned to the flies. The hospital was filthy, and reeked of death. This was, as one might imagine, completely unacceptable to Florence, and so she set to work.

Florence attacked the hospital mercilessly. She enlisted some of the more hearty patients to scrub the hospital from top to bottom, and recruited the soldier's wives to wash the clothing and linens the hospital needed to function. She insisted that medical instruments be sterilized, and that patients' wounds be cleaned, as well as the general bathing of the patient.

While all that may seem like a no-brainer to us today, it was not the case in Florence's time. From the 1500's to the mid 1800's hospitals were more a place to die than a place to get well. Filthy conditions were normal. Germs had yet to be discovered, so wounds went uncleaned, and medical personnel didn't wash their hands. Florence changed that.

But not only did Florence insist on cleanliness and sanitation, she also saw to it that soldiers received assistance in writing home to their families, established a library to stimulate minds, and insisted on around the clock care. She herself was known for wandering through the wards of sick at night to check on her patients, it was for this that she received the epithet 'Lady with the lamp'.

Eventually, the Crimean War came to end, and Florence returned to England. But she didn't leave empty handed. She contracted brucellosis, or Crimean Fever, a disease that would leave her home bound and bed ridden for much of the rest of her life.

Florence came back home to find herself a national hero, a development which both baffled and unnerved her. This fame was, however, to allow her to further her work in revolutionizing both nursing and hospital administration. She was granted a tete-a-tete with Queen Victoria, a conversation that resulted in the entire army health system being overhauled, as well as the position of minister of health being created. She received several hundreds of pounds, all of which she put into creating her own nursing school in St. Thomas Hospital.

Once back in England, she still had to dodge her family's demands that she marry Stubborn as ever, Florence refused on the grounds that she was deathly ill. Sub-sequentially, two female relatives, first an aunt and then a cousin moved in with Florence to care for her. Florence established a firm attachment with both of these women, in one letter saying that she and her aunt were 'like two lovers'.

Now, if while reading this you have a little voice in your head that's screaming 'GAY', that voice is completely justified in that argument. Not only did Florence describe her relationship with her aunt as being like two lovers, but she also spoke of a female cousin, saying "I have never loved but one person with a passion in my life, and that was her." Florence never married, and rebuffed marriage proposal from no less than four men. She seemed to have preferred the company of women over all, and was also known to have said, 'I have lived and slept in the same beds as English Countesses, and Prussian farm women. No woman has excited passions among women more than I have.' And while we will never be sure* if Florence was a bi or homosexual, it isn't an unfair assumption to make.

During her years after Crimea Florence not only established her own nursing school, but she also published the definitive guide to nursing, and provided valued statistics and mathematical formulas for calculating and prediction mortality rates. She remained an expert on public health, and was frequently consulted by the British government for ways to improve healthcare.

There's no arguing it, Florence revolutionized healthcare. She established procedures for modern nursing, and she elevated a once despised profession to one of the most valued professions today. She is honored to this day as being a true visionary and pioneer.


*Unless, of course, you manage to contact and interview her ghost. If you do manage such a feat, please contact me. I have much interest in gaining details of the past from those beyond the grave.

Sources
University of Alabama at Birmingham
Biography
Encyclopedia Britannica
Owlcation
Autostraddle